Friday, September 2, 2016

The Rapists That Inspire Me

This is a post about confusion. A conflict between inspiration and condemnation, art and crime, blackness and womanhood. This post is about rape. It’s funny how the things that I gravitate to, art and Blackness (whatever that means) lead me to directly confronting a part of my struggle that is often an afterthought. 

Honestly, I’ve been one of those people who has put rape and sexual assault on the social justice back burner. It’s not that I haven’t found the subject gravely important, it’s just that I’ve always seen myself as Black before I saw myself as a woman. More Black Arts Movement than Women’s Suffrage, you feel me? Maybe not. One seemed pressing, the other was a fact. Intersectionality was something that I saw as real and necessary, but never really embraced for fear of losing sight of the great Black freedom for which my people long (that sounds so dramatic, but I am so serious).

Yesterday I watched She’s Gotta Have It for a second time…at 8am in the dining hall—weird, I know. And this time when I saw it, I was captivated. It was magic. You’ll hear more about that later, but this post was on my mind.  Again, I was so deeply inspired to tell stories through film. I was like #YesAllWomen and #BlackLivesMatter all at the same time.  But by 3:00, my inspiration had taken on a dark tint. After my professor gave his lecture, I just sort of…sat there. He made it so blatantly clear that I had let Nola’s rape exist as a minor plot point instead of the central crime of the film. And it was no thanks to Spike Lee who might not have dealt with the subject seriously enough. 

(Courtesy of uptownmagazine.com)

And so naturally my mind went to Bill Cosby. Well, maybe not so naturally, my professor did put a massive picture of him his slide show. Anyways, I couldn’t shake the thought, which was jarring because I’d done such a good job of leaving it out of sight and out of mind. And now I couldn’t.

Let’s rewind a few months, shall we? Bill Cosby, once beloved comedian, America’s Dad, and the brains behind The Cosby Show and A Different World was charged with multiple accounts of rape and sexual assault. Tragic.  Now fast forward.

(Courtesy of cosbyshowcaps.tumblr.com)

I still Watch A Different World. Real talk, it’s my favorite show. When I first heard about Cosby’s crimes, I can’t tell you how thankful I was that it wasn’t taken off of Netflix (bless up!)  I still have Ron and Freddy posters in my room, I still await a love like Whitley and Dwayne’s, and I still Imagine Hillman as my alma mater. I still look for the Cosby show when I’m flipping through channels, even though I know I won’t see it anymore because what network wants to see their logo next to the name of a criminal? So what do you do when you find out the mastermind between your Black utopia is a rapist? Well, if you’re me, you politely frown upon the media’s accusations and keep singing Aretha’s theme song. 

Again. Nate Parker. I cannot even explain how excited I was for The Birth of a Nation, a film about a slave rebellion led by Nat Turner. Honestly, I still am. As writer, director, and star of the film Nate Parker casted a vision and saw it through with boldness and swagger. He wanted to tell a story that is so deeply important to out people. Nate was brilliant; Nate was a mover; Nate was a shaker; Nate was Beyond The Lights and The Great Debaters; Nate was Sundance. Nate was making strides for me. And then it happened. Another light became the darkness. Alleged rapist. 


(Courtesy of blacknerdproblems.com)

These men made the kind of artistic and cultural impact that I dream of and pray for. I saw these timely accusations as The Man trying to take us down. I didn’t pay much attention to what ignoring these things said about men who think they have the right to take me down. And to be honest, I’m still a little skeptical. It often seems like every time we build something, it’s suddenly torn down. That’s a scary thought for a dreamer. Rape is rape is rape is rape is rape. I just can’t help but think that both sides of the argument are at play here. While before I pushed one aside to keep by heroes on their pedestals, after yesterday, I can’t ignore either. 

How do I at once admire and condemn men who I first thought to build me up, but instead tear me down? It feels wrong. 

What I do know is that I’m probably going to keep watching season 4 episode 8 of A Different World on repeat. I am going to go see The Birth of a Nation.  I still think She’s Gotta Have It is brilliant and want to watch every second of b-roll that Lee ever shot. What I’m unsure of is to what degree I can admire the men who made these things. And what if I love the things I watch—what if they make my heart dance? Am I a victim of systematic silencing? Am I asleep? Am I wrong? Maybe I’m just inspired. I don’t want an answer, really. I’m just thankful that I’ve come to a place where I am forced to think about it. 


So the question for me here isn’t about whether or not rape is wrong and should be punished. The answer to that is undoubtedly yes. I guess I’m asking if you can separate an artist from their work. Can you be inspired by the paths they’ve forged even if they left destruction in their wake? Is art only a representation of its creator or does it exist as a testament to something larger? I struggle with that myself as a screenwriter, director, and playwright. And, as I come to my close (the greatest lie a preacher ever told)...I just don’t know. 

4 comments:

  1. Micah I am still in awe of your writing. Keep up the good works. I pray that you have a good 3rd year. It does not seem like you are a Junior. Keep up the good works.

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  2. Great job. Made me think also. I hate the alleged crime but love the talent of the artist(actor, screenwriter).

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    Replies
    1. It's a tough question that I haven't really found an answer to. Still thinking, as well. Thanks for reading :)

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